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hidoko

heiko
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I'm starting a series of L amputees.

Beware. Beware lots.

You know you want it. You know you like it.

And if you don't, nobody asked you to look, anyway. :P

Teil eins: www.deviantart.com/view/161298…
Teil zwei: www.deviantart.com/view/161976…
Teil drei: www.deviantart.com/view/164868…
Teil drei #2: www.deviantart.com/view/164873…
Teil vier: - currently in sketch mode, might never be finished:
img.photobucket.com/albums/080…

(...I just realised that my right brain apparently substituted one of the Shounen Jump art for this (lack of) composition. *headddesk*)

communities:
goethe club: goethe-club.deviantart.com/
dollfie club: dollfie-club.deviantart.com/
hunter x hunter club: hunterxhunterfans.deviantart.c…
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-

1 min read
things:
kraftwerk
newshirtandshoesifeelsohandsome
ihatechristians
youknowyouhatethem too.

missingT.thinking.

andstuff.

it's amazing how great artists need not have great minds. I feel as if something has been unfairly distributed.
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Art is subjective yet objective. It is the paradox of itself. That which is common lends grounds for detest; that which is uncommon lends grounds for scorn.

Yet the Superman is one who lives dangerously (spandex optional); he is the one who walks on tightrope, who has, as a calling, taken danger to be part of his life. And it is him, who is set apart from the Ultimate Men, who have made the world small, who *feels* life, who sees it, who breathes it... Agonisingly, fleetingly, and ultimately, joyously.

I desire not small irritance; I desire something grand. I wish not to forget; I wish to both forget and remember.

And so, it is with much fire that I wish to leave for this land... I wish for it fiercely, strongly, and with ardent desire.

This land is something that will make me say, "I have lived, and I will live through it again and again, without any hesitation."

This land has been divided into parts; its unemployment rate is high; its ruins are rampant; bums are on the street - it is the place that I want to be.

Someday.

Without it, there is no reason to live. I say this the way a surgeon would when he dissects his own tumour - in pain, yet with realisation that most would never have the courage to summon.

1001, and it is Xmas too. Thank you.



And here is a song that, upon listening to, word for word, has brought me to tears. SONG DOWNLOAD HERE: s2.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1IQ…

Dalai Lama [1]

Lyrics ©2004 Rammstein.

Ein Flugzeug liegt im Abendwind
An Bord ist auch ein Mann mit Kind
Sie sitzen sicher sitzen warm
und gehen so dem Schlaf ins Garn
In drei Stunden sind sie da
zum Wiegenfeste der Mama
Die Sicht ist gut der Himmel klar

Weiter, weiter ins Verderben
Wir müssen leben bis wir sterben
Der Mensch gehört nicht in die Luft
So der Herr im Himmel ruft
seine Söhne auf dem Wind
Bringt mir dieses Menschenkind

Das Kind hat noch die Zeit verloren
Da springt ein Widerhall zu Ohren
Ein dumpfes Grollen treibt die Nacht
und der Wolkentreiber lacht
Schüttelt wach die Menschenfracht

Weiter, weiter ins Verderben
Wir müssen leben bis wir sterben
Und das Kind zum Vater spricht
Hörst du denn den Donner nicht
Das ist der König aller Winde
Er will mich zu seinem Kinde

Aus den Wolken tropft ein Chor
Kriecht sich in das kleine Ohr
Komm her, bleib hier
Wir sind gut zu dir
Komm her, bleib hier
Wir sind Brüder dir

Der Sturm umarmt die Flugmaschine
Der Druck fällt schnell in der Kabine
Ein dumpfes Grollen treibt die Nacht
In Panik schreit die Menschenfracht

Weiter, weiter ins Verderben
Wir müssen leben bis wir sterben
Und zum Herrgott fleht das Kind
Himmel nimm zurück den Wind
Bring uns unversehrt zu Erden

Aus den Wolken tropft ein Chor
Kriecht sich in das kleine Ohr
Komm her, bleib hier
Wir sind gut zu dir
Komm her, bleib hier
Wir sind Brüder dir

Der Vater hält das Kind jetzt fest
Hat es sehr an sich gepresst
Bemerkt nicht dessen Atemnot
Doch die Angst kennt kein Erbarmen
So der Vater mit den Armen
Drückt die Seele aus dem Kind
Diese setzt sich auf den Wind und singt:

Komm her, bleib hier
Wir sind gut zu dir
Komm her, bleib hier
Wir sind Brüder dir


Translation ©2004 Jeremy Williams.

An airplane is in the evening wind
On board is a man with his child as well
They sit secure and warm
and so they fall into the trap of sleep
In three hours they will be there
for mama's birthday [2]
The view is good the sky is clear

Onwards, onwards into destruction
We must live until we die
Humans don't belong in the sky
So the lord in Heaven calls
his sons to the wind
Bring me this human child

The child has still lost time
Then an echo jumps to his ears
A muffled rumbling drives the night
and the driver of the clouds laughs
He shakes the human cargo awake

Onwards, onwards into destruction
We must live until we die
And the child says to the father
Don't you hear the thunder
That's the king of all the winds
He wants me to become his child

From the clouds falls a choir
which crawls into the little ear
Come here, stay here
We'll be good to you
Come here, stay here
We are your brothers

The storm embraces the flying machine
The pressure falls quickly in the cabin
A muffled rumbling drives the night
In panic the human cargo screams

Onwards, onwards into destruction
We must live until we die
And to God the child pleads
Heaven take back the wind
Bring us unharmed to earth

From the clouds falls a choir
which crawls into the little ear
Come here, stay here
We'll be good to you
Come here, stay here
We are your brothers

The father is now holding onto the child
and has pressed it tightly against himself
He doesn't notice its difficulty in breathing
But fear knows no mercy
So with his arms the father
squeezes the soul from the child
Which takes its place upon the wind and sings:

Come here, stay here
We'll be good to you
Come here, stay here
We are your brothers

[1] The Dalai Lama is the most powerful figure in the Gelugpa or Gelug sect of Tibetan Buddhism. The current one, Tenzin Gyatso, is also afraid of flying.

[2] The word "Wiegenfest" is used, which is an old word for "birthday", but literally translated would be "cradle celebration".

Note: The song is at least partially based on the poem "Erlkönig" which was written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe in 1782.
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fatal tragedy

1 min read
I think of you all the time. Presence in absence.

Always submitting to the power of the sublime.
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As you can tell, I have a new obsession, and that is DEATH NOTE.

There's a scanlation available here, to be read online: www.ton1x.net/ -> look for "Online manga"



In case you haven't been able to tell whom my obsession is about, it's L.

I didn't start out liking L. That I'll admit. I liked Raito. But after I trudged on and read more Death Note, I realised that L had a special place in my heart.

There's something vaguely comforting about L - he kind of reminds me of myself, the way I sit, chew my fingers, drink tea, suck on lolipops, eat pocky, cakes (I love light cakes!), etc... Not that it struck me at first sight; I simply thought it was amusing since I like tea a lot. I don't chew on my thumb, but I chew my fingernails (I don't ever cut them, that's how I keep them short). When thinking, I would cup my hand against the entire lower part of my chin so tightly that it hurts, and if somebody asked me to "imagine how being suspected of being a murder would feel", I would say, "It must feel terrible," after a long pause. I'm not exactly socially adept and I like to wear comfortable clothes. I hate it when people touch me at all, like how L was shivering when he was touched. Of course, I act better. That makes me... more normal.

I like L. A lot.

Of course, he's not the same as I am. L is... A genius. I'm just insane.

Raito (the blond; L's the one with dark hair). Raito seemed to me the perfect student. He was perfect, and until he owned the Death Note, he was humane. He has wonderful social skills and a very smart brain. Lots of girls are after him.

Now, L seems like the exact opposite... ALthough he's still very smart. Few people have seen his true face, and he probably never once had any girlfriend. It's hard to imagine who would actually love him. Respect him, maybe. But love? For such a person? Impossible. (I still don't understand why most people fangirl over L so much... O_o Because I don't think they're the same as me, therefore they can't possibly like him for the same reasons. It's impossible to link them and me together.)

I didn't like him much before, although I thought he wasn't unlikeable. And I would never have thought of Raito X L until I saw Raito X L pictures: right-note.net/yomi.cgi?mode=k…

So pretty.

There's something heart-breaking about it, the way a gentle Raito would hold L (now that Raito's not obsessed about the Death Note, he does seem quite... humane). L, like a child without a mother, and Raito, a shining Mother Mary.

It's just beautiful.

If Raito would love L... That thought makes me nearly want to cry. It's a very beautiful thing, really - two people who understand each other perfectly. Two people who are so alike, even though one is a perfection and the other is the epitome of an imperfection.

Not to mention, L doesn't seem to sleep. O_o At least I sleep... ^^ Just that now that I'm sleeping downstairs, I don't get nightmares anymore, so I sleep less.
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Featured

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DEATH NOTE Et L. by hidoko, journal